For those women who think that they can have it all comes this contrarian view from some women who think less of their own capabilities than their male counterparts do and often aim low from the very beginning. Here are some hard truths about the work and lives of women in business.
Many male executives continue to stereotype women ("geisha," "bitch") and try to hold them down. Toxic bosses and hostile work environments still abound. Sexual harassment, pay discrimination and hostility to the "mommy track" are not everywhere a thing of the past.
But many of these women aren't just doom and gloom. There are real solutions to the challenges women face on and off the job such as how to increase confidence, build relationships and reputation, create alliances and networks, mentor and be mentored, and avoid the familiar trap, "I'll do it myself."
Women can learn how and when to exit a dead-end job, how to become an entrepreneur, and how to balance work, family and an inner life. It's important stuff. Because one thing most women know that many men don’t is that your job is part of life – it's not your life.
An 45-year-old woman, who has done everything from secretarial work to trading gas futures, offers tips on how to acquire power, navigate toxic environments and strike out on your own, among other challenges. She said that there are more good companies than people imagine. Not every company requires women to bury their personalities. If they started with bolder assumptions, women would realize they are assets wherever they work and thus keep their standards high.
Women shouldn't give up before they start because that becomes self-fulfilling. Don't make concessions too early. A recent study found that far more women move to accommodate their husbands' careers than the reverse. So it's essential to have a career plan, yet many women don't because they think having a plan will cut them off from opportunities. But a plan illuminates opportunities that they wouldn't have seen before. Whenever you've made a plan, you’re staggered at what it achieves.
Sometimes women are looking for dependency at work. When they agonize over things like face-time (with superiors), those are symbols of dependency. The only power is "portable power," which is inside of you. You are safe because you are capable. That's the only safety there is.
Many women who have stayed home to raise their families have trouble getting back into the workplace once their children are grown. Sometimes women don't see how their skills map onto business. Women negotiate all the time, for instance. They figure out who is going to pick up the kids. If you can negotiate with your kids, you can negotiate world peace.
Actually, there are four main stereotypes women tend to fall into: geisha, invisible woman, bitch, and guy."...All over the world are women who've fought their way through this nonsense and emerged whole. It can be done. When women are empowered, men are enlightened.
When a woman starts thinking about her life in business, she usually thinks in terms of catching up with men. But that is irrelevant, because it is women who are the trailblazers. Their career patterns, which companies see as so eccentric and challenging, are the shape of things to come. However much working women are categorized as 'bitches' or 'guys', the truth is we are all these and more... Even in these supposedly emancipated times, women in the office are frequently stereotyped. But it can be avoided.
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