Busted! 8 Home Organizing Myths Exposed

 By: Karen Fritscher-Porter

Organizing creates systems that allows you to grow and frees up your space from chaos so you can enjoy your home. Organizing can help you get back to the basics of life where your "stuff" doesn't take over.

You can create multiple reasons to NOT get organized at home. But the truth is that the only obstacle stopping you from getting organized is you. It's not family members, it's not the absence of cash and it's not a lack of home organizational know-how. Read onward to expose these myths now. With that out of the way, you can get on with organizing your life and home in ways that make you a happier, less stressed and more productive person.

MYTH #1: You have to organize your home in a day.

TRUTH: Organizing your home is a lifelong process. You devise organizational systems, you maintain those processes ongoing and you create new organizational solutions when new situations or products in your home call for it. You don't just get organized today and stop tomorrow. It's an ongoing task. Don't expect or even try to get organized at home in a day or a week.

MYTH #2: You have to organize like she does.

TRUTH: Your home organization solutions must work for you---not your friends, neighbors or those clever organizers you watch on popular home organization television shows. You can certainly observe other peoples home organizing ideas. But then pick, choose and try what will work for you and your family. And do what you're capable of doing yourself. We're not all capable of building custom shelving in our homes (nor can we all afford to hire someone to build them); that's why some of us happily shop for prefabricated products.

MYTH #3: You have to organize "everything" in your home and life.

TRUTH: Organizing is a solution to dilemmas in your home and life. Perhaps you're late to work three days a week when you can't find your keys or you get charged huge fees for paying misplaced bills late. Create organizational techniques to solve those problems which cost you money and create stress in your life. But if you like your books placed haphazardly on your bookshelves and this doesn't cause you distress or to lose time in life, skip organizing the bookcase. Organize items or processes in your home when you know it will simplify your life, solve a problem or perhaps save you time.

MYTH #4: You can't get organized because you lack home organizing know-how.

TRUTH: Some people do seem to have a natural tendency toward personal and home organization, but it's a learned skill. Take notice of other people's organizing methods in their homes and offices, read home organization books, watch home organization television shows and surf the web for home organizing ideas. Then apply some of these ideas and techniques to your situation. And if you need some hand-holding, hire a professional organizer for some consultation or to organize specific spots in your home for you.

MYTH #5: You have to organize everything in your home perfectly.

TRUTH: Perfectionism wastes time. Organizing saves time. These two concepts clash. Sure if you're buying something like bins or totes, you want some stylish ones that match your home decor and fill the function for which they're intended. But don't go overboard in trying to find the perfect organizational helpers for your home. At some point say this product or this organizational system should work and that's it. Your home doesn't have to look like a photo shoot page out of a home decor magazine. Your organizational system doesn't have to be the ultimate solution to every organizing dilemma associated with that section of your home.

MYTH #6: If your organizational system doesn't work, you're an organizational failure.

TRUTH: If your new home organizing solution or process doesn't work for you, it just doesn't work. Don't read more into it than that. Take the word "failure" out of your vocabulary. Just move on and try another organizational technique. 

MYTH #7: You can't have an organized home because family members won't participate in your organizational processes.

TRUTH: Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But that's no reason for you to not organize items and streamline processes that will help you find things, save time and decrease stress in YOUR life. Quit worrying about organizing other people and organize areas in your home and your life that will help you first. Later, you can try some tactics to get immediate family member buy-in on organizational processes in your shared home.

MYTH #8: Getting organized costs lots of money.

TRUTH: There are lots of great organizing gadgets, containers, cabinets, shelves and more on the market that can help simplify getting organized (and even make it more fun sometimes). Some home organization items are quite inexpensive. Others create a pricey, extravagant look. But lack of cash will never stand in the way of getting organized at home because it's not a necessity to the process. You can be creative and improvise organizational processes that use helper items found in your home now. Or you can buy some ready-made home organizing accessories when you know what exact type products you need.

The choice to get organized or not to get organized is all yours and your paycheck or spending level doesn't dictate the answer. Nor do any of the other myths busted in this article. Remember, there is only one obstacle preventing you from getting organized and that's you. So move out of your own way if you want to get organized at home and get started organizing today.

About the author: Karen Fritscher-Porter publishes http://www.EasyHomeOrganizing.com where you'll find home organization products to buy plus hundreds of free articles and tips to keep you organized at home year-round.

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How a Filipina Mother Saves Time

One should wonder how the typical Filipina mom fits everything into her hectic days. Actually, there’s a handful of single individuals who can manage to handle successfully the requirements of work, home, life, and fun. Yet, over and above these responsibilities, moms include car pool duty, cupcake emergencies, and last-ditch science projects to their to-do lists. Thus, how does a Pinay mother manage all these everyday jobs and household tasks into her life and still keeps her sanity? Here are 4 ways for moms to save time for the completion of all other tasks:

Consider making a list of tasks that need to be completed. Then, take a hard look at that list for anything that could be simplified or eliminated. For example, do your children really need home baked cupcakes for the school party? The bakery up the street will be happy to box up 24 cupcakes and have them ready for you to pick up the next morning, saving you at least a half hour.

Identify tasks that really take a lot of time, but could be done by someone else. If your children are too young to help walk the dog, you may want to consider hiring a dog walker to give your pooch his daily exercise. Errand services are also a great time saver. You can have your errand service shop for back to school supplies, pick up groceries, or get the dry cleaning. A maid service can come in once a week to do some heavy duty cleaning. Another task that takes a lot of time is cooking. However, you can stop cooking a meal from scratch every evening and still feed your family without hitting speed dial for your favorite pizza with bulk cooking. Pick a weekend and cook enough food for an entire month of meals. Freeze the food in dinner size portions and simply reheat a dinner each evening.

Take time off for yourself. Of course moms who work from home have a flexibility that other moms don't have. If you become overwhelmed with all that you have to do, give yourself permission to take some time off to catch up. If you simply can't take time off, you may want to find a mother's helper to watch the children and do some basic household chores while you work.

Finally, if it seems you are always spending your evenings helping your children complete big assignments that are due the next day, give each of your children a homework notebook. If they neglect to write assignments down, ask their teachers to initial the assignment book, so you will know that all assignments are listed. This will eliminate all of those last minute posters, science fair projects, and reports that moms seem to end up helping with until midnight the night before they are due.

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Abused Filipinas Consider Leaving as a Complex and Confusing Process

For battered Filipina women nothing could be easier than walking out that door. That momentary decision somehow sounds simple in the brink of anger or danger but the abused woman actually goes through a process of leaving that can be obscured at every stage by vague uncertainty.

When a Pinay disengages from a relationship, she is often uncertain about her family's relative status. Is he finally out of her life? He may be physically at home but psychologically out of stock. He doesn’t seem to care for her nor the kids anymore. She may have physically renounced him but they are still psychologically attached. She misses him, and for the sake of the kids, she would like her family to be whole again.

We could see this struggle clearly on how Filipino women view the family situations at different stages in the course of leaving. It's confusing and the stage continuum is ambiguous. It's parallel to the experience of having a child depart for college. Your child is no longer with you at home, but you're still very connected to him/her emotionally. Yet, when he/she comes home for visits, he/she may ignore you while he/she gives special attention to friends.

It's often difficult to comprehend what the new boundaries are on such transitions in life. Abused women from diverse backgrounds recognize ambiguity within the different stages of the leaving process.

First, women start to disengage emotionally from their affairs. They construe their little indifference as a beginning of not caring for him anymore.

That is followed by the usual occurrence of abusive incidents and apparent consequences of the hostilities on their children. Women prepare to leave, such as looking for a place to stay or surreptitiously saving up money. This stage is significant for women as they switch from thinking about leaving to really doing something about it.

The next is when women take action; we see a lot of what we call back-and-forth actions because when women leave, the emotions often rush back. This necessitates clarity. Women fancy for physical and emotional connection again.

The last part of the process which is maintenance can be achieved when women have been gone for six months or more. But even then, they may have boundary ambiguity if their ex-spouse won't let them go. With continued contact through court-ordered child visitation, the prospect for continuing abuse stays as well as sustained confusion over the abuser's role in the woman's life.

Truly, leaving a relationship is much more complex than just deciding to transform herself, and it involves more than a woman's prioritizing her well-being. Other factors are drawn in. The abuser makes decisions that affect a woman's movement through the whole process. And children can be a dominant influence in encouraging a woman to get out of a relationship and in pulling her back in.

It's important for social work professionals and frustrated family and friends to understand the process of leaving. Often shelter workers focus on safety and tangible needs such as a job and housing. They don't help women disentangle themselves emotionally. But it's hard for women to get out of the situation if they haven't resolved these relationship issues.

Discouraged friends and family members have to learn to view leaving as a process and realize that there's little they can say to speed it along. It's important for them to reinforce the risks the woman is facing by asking such questions as 'Has he become more abusive? Does he have a gun?' When talking to an abused friend or family member, you should always emphasize safety, but for your own sanity, you should realize that leaving is a process and she has to work her way through it herself.

When women do finally achieve both physical and emotional separation, research shows that they experience fewer health problems and less depression.

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When a Filipina Matures into Motherhood...

For a Filipina, it must be a one unique experience. She has her tummy checked by the doctor, he affirms. She goes through the nine months: of craving the weirdest things (from the sourest mangoes to Magnolia strawberry ice cream), of insane mood swings, of testing her husband’s love for her. At the end of it all, her water breaks, she goes through insane labor and the breathing exercises that now don’t seem to work, then boom! She’s finally holding that warm, soft bundle in her arms and in that instant, everything, and everything in those nine months have all been worth it. Looking back to maybe just a year ago, she realized how much she’s changed.

As people age and experience new things in life, their tendencies change. Such is the case of Filipino women becoming and being mothers, they have to redefine their identities. And now, she is not just a wife, not just a daughter, she’s also a mother. A woman’s life will do a complete 360 degrees once that baby comes. The hardest adjustment so far is living a life not just for herself or for the husband, but for the baby also. It can be stressful and it’s not always a happy day.

Being a mom is an entirely new experience – like seeing everyday things in an entirely new light. Going to the zoo is more exciting, swimming is more enjoyable and burning calories is more accessible since you have to follow your child everywhere. The most rewarding experience would be watching your child sleep peacefully at night because you know that that day was another happy day where nothing awful happened to him/her. You can’t readily say that motherhood makes you stronger or smarter because you will still have fears and you still can make bad decisions. However, motherhood makes you learn a few new things about yourself.

Rearing, the Filipino way, makes a mother braver and more confident. And when you get right down to it, it automatically becomes a full-time role. Once you’re in it, you can never shake it or turn it off. You should love it.

Maturity becomes the woman and the woman realizes how selfless and responsible she’s become as a mother. Before she had no care in the world except for her and her husband’s own indulgences, but now she shall always think twice on everything she does. The usual shopping spree that covered fashion accessories and cool gadgets would surely take towards more consideration for the baby's needs. You never really would understand why your parents were the way they were towards you until you become one like them. And you will understand now the hardship and struggle parenting really is.

One Filipina says that seeing her husband and baby smile however, make the sacrifices all worth it. Motherhood is about maximizing your potential as a woman. If you’re willing to take [all of the things that come with being a mom], why not, what’s stopping you? What matters at the end of it all is that you are true to the core relationships that you want to maintain, that work with you, and who you are, and who you want to be. Then you can take on the challenges of being the Pinay mom of today. Those who have a why can take on almost every how.

Here’s a beautiful 70’s song by Barry Manilow about a wife and a mother called “Sandra”. I thought Barry was referring to a Filipina.

Or you can sing it like Barry...

When Love Compromises a Women's Privacy

The lyrics of the song "How Do You Keep the Music Playing?" strike me whenever it plays. That part on "How do you lose yourself to someone and never lose you ways?" expresses the predicament of Filipino women (Pinays) who fall madly in love with someone. When the distance between lovers get too close for comfort, the space to move freely and be your best self is lost. The weaker person gets lost on her/his lover's strength and persistence. There is no more room to grow and maintain balance . . . and worse it could be dangerous. Lets read this story below:

Trixie is dating a local artist. She has known him for a couple of months. She knew that most artists had their own way of doing things. Her boy friend was no different. He was a seemingly nice guy but he took some getting use to. Sometimes he did unusual things.

For example, he once sat in a tree for 2 days. He said he was trying to get a feel of how birds felt. She figured it was just one of the weird habits that all artists possess. He also, frequently asked her to pose for photographs, but she refused. She thought that was the end of it but he persisted. At first she was enjoying the attention. Then it just became annoying. He seemed to be obsessed with getting those photographs. He told her how he had never seen anyone as photogenic as her. He even said he thought she would make a terrific model.

He said he could send her photographs to some magazines to see what they thought. She thought are you crazy, I do not want my photographs in everyones hands. She declined. He stopped asking for a while. One day she went to his apartment. While she was there, he wanted to go out and get some art supplies.

Trixie thought buying art supplies was boring, so she stayed at the apartment. She wanted to learn more about what made the artist tick. She looked around the apartment. It was full of all types of art. She struggled to understand what was going through his mind when he created some of the pieces. He seemed to have a bizarre fascination with women. She dismissed it as just a part of his passion.

She came across a giant black photo album. She opened the album and thumbed through a few pages. All the photographs were of women. She thought, I can finally see how I compare to his previous girl friends. She looked at the pictures. She came across a section marked, special, with a black divider. She flipped the divider, and what she saw shocked her. It was photographs of her in her bathtub at home.

She became really scared and nervous. She did not know what to do. Fearing that the artist may be dangerous, she did not stay and confront him. All she could think about was getting out of that apartment with those photographs. She took the photographs to the police. They arrested the artist and charged him with invasion of privacy. Fearful of the consequences, Trixie moved to another province.

Trixie knew that the artist had planted some kind of hidden camera in her bathroom. She still wonders if other photographs will surface one day, in hard copies or in the internet. We all have to be careful of the people we allow into our homes and lives. Technology has made it possible for a persons privacy to be revealed to the world. It has also made it possible to know when someone is spying on you and your family.

You should periodically check your home and surroundings for invasion. Never under estimate the capability of an unscrupulous person. Lives have been ruined because of information or photographs and videos of people in compromising positions and acts. Protect your privacy by being aware that you can be a victim. Take steps to insure that you have the privacy you think you have. (Source: Free Articles)

It's true that love's a sacrifice, it is giving yourself unconditionally to the person you love. But it should be reciprocated fairly with respect and equal if not greater amount of affection. Becoming a part of a person's life should not become a break into her own privacy no matter what.

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The Filipina: Baring her Essentials

There are lots of testimonials and statements about the nature of Filipino women (Filipinas or Pinays as they are called). Most of these, however, imply the Pinays’ sexual prominence to males, especially foreigners. Some Filipinos keep on pushing the impression that Pinays are generally for delight and companionship. So when a foreigner turns up on Philippine soil, the usual question asked is: How do you find our women or girls? What a sad image to project.

Actually, the awesome Filipina are known over the world for their sweetness, kindness and intelligence, not to mention their stunning beauty and strength. Their long black hair, smooth tanned skin and charming disposition never fail to capture the hearts of men. But I would like to believe that aside from these delightful attributes, the spirituality and depth of the strong Pinay is the oozing aura that mesmerizes men all over the world.

What the world doesn’t realize is that, the Filipina’s uncomplicated attitude towards partnership is initially a renunciation for the family’s welfare which eventually nurtures into loyalty and affection. The Filipina knows very well that love means service and devotion which is unparalleled all over the world. The material rewards are not meant for personal gains but more for her folks and kin. When she loves, she loves more.

Being devout Christians, The Filipinas' faith in God always comes first. They don’t easily give up and that unswerving hope could hold affairs on solid ground. They are serious about relationships. Unlike western women, Filipinas are not so keen on playing around or having casual contacts. Most Pinays would rather wait for the right man to come along rather than have flings just to have somebody around. This means that if you want to pursue having a relationship with a Filipina, you must be serious about it and forget about the idea of scoring a casual thing.

It’s true, they are really delightful companions in life, heaven-sent so to say. But that’s because her spirituality holds her physical fiber so beautifully woven that it transcends the physical desire into holistic admiration. Her family, friends, acquaintances should know…

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